Every mid February people across the world celebrates St.Valentine exchanging candies, flowers, gifts for their love ones. But does anyone really know who and why are people celebrating this mysterious day? Allow me to enlighten you with my research on St.Valentine festival. There seems to be 2-3 versions of Valentine’s day, but I’ll try my best to go as accurate possible.
Valentine release 1.01A(alpha) – The Christian Church
A long long time ago back in the 3rd century when Emperor Claudius II ruled the great Roman Empire there Bishop named Valentine. The emperor noticed that all young men in Rome are becoming too woosy to fight in war as they’re too emotionally attach with their duties as husbands and fathers. So he decided outlawed young men from getting marry to strengthen the Roman army against the Gauls, Huns, Turks…etc. St.Valentine defied Claudius II after seeing so many young lovers suffered, he would meet these couples in hidden places and joined them in sacrament of matrimony. Claudius soon found out of this love affair and had St.Valentine sentenced to death. Rumor was, while St.Valentine was in prison he also fell in love with the emperor’s daughter and sent her a love note signed “From your Valentine” the night before he was executed. What a naughty priest, I thought Roman Catholics priest are not suppose to do that. So there you go, he was killed and everyone was sad, Romanian women adored the story, Romanian men inspired by signature and use it to court gals. There was no official celebration till the end of the 5th century where Pope Gelasius declared February 14th as St.Valentine’s Day. By the way, this version was fully church approved because they made it up. Wholesome CRAP!!!
Valentine release 1.01B(beta) – The Lupercalia
Courtesy of wikipedia, the Lupercalia is an ancient ritual and festival practice in Rome before Christ. Its done annually on February 15th to ward off evil spirits and purifying the city with good health and fertility. The ritual begins with the sacrifice by Luperci (or the flamen dialis) of two male goats and a dog. Next two patrician young Luperci were led to the altar, to be anointed on their foreheads with the sacrificial blood, which was wiped off the bloody knife with wool soaked in milk, after which they were expected to smile and laugh; the smearing of the forehead with blood probably refers to human sacrifice originally practised at the festival.The sacrificial feast followed, after which the Luperci cut thongs from the skins of the victims, which were called Februa, dressed themselves in the skins of the sacrificed goats, in imitation of Lupercus, and ran round the walls of the old Palatine city, the line of which was marked with stones, with the thongs in their hands in two bands, striking the people who crowded near. Girls and young women would line up on their route to receive lashes from these whips. This was supposed to ensure fertility, prevent sterility in women and ease the pains of childbirth. This practice eventually ended when Christianity took over Roman Empire.
$1 review on Valentine’s Day
Hell knows back when,… somewhere sometime ago there was a conspiracy and it was lead by several parties. They were international giant candy companies, florist and greeting card companies. In order to earn large amount of money just for a day to cover up all their losses thru out the whole year they came up with ingenious ideas for loving suckers out there who have no clue why they are doing and celebrating this stupid day. Most people are doing it just because it’s a trend not knowing of the throat cutting conspiracies. SUCKERS!!! Valentine’s day is just another stupid celebration made up by the Caucasians to hook in more profits, another stupid celebration would be Halloween Day. I admit that I am not the romantic Casanova Romeo type, but I don’t see the necessity of splurging on Feb 14th yearly. To me I believe that if you love your partner, spouse, secret lover, concubine, mistress…etc so much every 14th of the month can be a Valentine’s Day. Moreover if you’re filthy rich and don’t know where to spend your money make everyday a Valentine’s Day. I left for work early today and there was very heavy traffic and jam on my way to work. Its unusual, unless theres a slight flood or heavy rain. Could it be a coincidence?? Feb 14th jam because idiots are rushing to meet up in town? Best of all I couldn’t get a decent parking when I went food hunting near my office. I was surprised to find Secret Recipe full house with quite a number of couples, HAHAHAHA serve them right for not making proper plans and reservations else where or they’re just elcheapo.
The Classic Valentine’s Gifts.
1) Flowers. Why flowers? Because it signifies beauty. Usually red roses, chinese are superstitious with white flowers because they use white flowers for funerals. Some culture white represents purity.
2) Candies/chocolates. It means that she is sweet.
3) Jewelries tells her that she is precious.
4) Lingerie means she’s sexy
5) Greeting cards, cheap but thoughtful.
Valentine don’t aren’t cheap either dining, gifts & flowers are priced sky high just for this occasion. Most restaurants will have a special menu for occasion like this and knowing its Valentine’s they sharpen their knives to cut throat. They usually remove the ala carte menus on special occasions and prepare a few standard full course set meals with lotsa bullshit fancy names. The reason they do that is because they can earn more and less work in the kitchen knowing that the place will be full house. Less preparation in the kitchen as the menus were preset and they charge more because they know couples would come in take their own sweet romantic time occupying the tables from other idiot who wanna dine out for the special occasion. So instead of serving 200 tables on a normal day they might only serve 100 tables on Valentine’s day. Another mistake my mate did was not making reservations WEEKS in advance or maybe even months in advance. No kidding, those who have celebrated before should know what am I talking about not that I ever did. Roses and flowers are 1000 times more expensive just on Feb 14th, on usual days a dozen bouquet only cost somewhere between MYR50 – MYR100. Valentine hikes it up to MYR200 – MYR400. Roses only cost 50cents a stalk from farm, you do the math. I heard a rumor that jewelries prices are also jacked up and then heavy discounts are given out in order to get customers. Great way to sell cheap cut stones for high price. Time to improvise with better and cheaper gifts for Valentine’s with my list.
Modern Valentine’s Gifts & Reasons.
1) Condoms. We all know after the fancy dinner and sweet talking theres gonna be wild love making tonite. So we don’t want STDs and unwanted babies
2) Yourself. Nothing is cheaper and more sexy than just tying a ribbon on yourself or on your crotch.
Valentine release 1.01A(alpha) – The Christian Church
A long long time ago back in the 3rd century when Emperor Claudius II ruled the great Roman Empire there Bishop named Valentine. The emperor noticed that all young men in Rome are becoming too woosy to fight in war as they’re too emotionally attach with their duties as husbands and fathers. So he decided outlawed young men from getting marry to strengthen the Roman army against the Gauls, Huns, Turks…etc. St.Valentine defied Claudius II after seeing so many young lovers suffered, he would meet these couples in hidden places and joined them in sacrament of matrimony. Claudius soon found out of this love affair and had St.Valentine sentenced to death. Rumor was, while St.Valentine was in prison he also fell in love with the emperor’s daughter and sent her a love note signed “From your Valentine” the night before he was executed. What a naughty priest, I thought Roman Catholics priest are not suppose to do that. So there you go, he was killed and everyone was sad, Romanian women adored the story, Romanian men inspired by signature and use it to court gals. There was no official celebration till the end of the 5th century where Pope Gelasius declared February 14th as St.Valentine’s Day. By the way, this version was fully church approved because they made it up. Wholesome CRAP!!!
Valentine release 1.01B(beta) – The Lupercalia
Courtesy of wikipedia, the Lupercalia is an ancient ritual and festival practice in Rome before Christ. Its done annually on February 15th to ward off evil spirits and purifying the city with good health and fertility. The ritual begins with the sacrifice by Luperci (or the flamen dialis) of two male goats and a dog. Next two patrician young Luperci were led to the altar, to be anointed on their foreheads with the sacrificial blood, which was wiped off the bloody knife with wool soaked in milk, after which they were expected to smile and laugh; the smearing of the forehead with blood probably refers to human sacrifice originally practised at the festival.The sacrificial feast followed, after which the Luperci cut thongs from the skins of the victims, which were called Februa, dressed themselves in the skins of the sacrificed goats, in imitation of Lupercus, and ran round the walls of the old Palatine city, the line of which was marked with stones, with the thongs in their hands in two bands, striking the people who crowded near. Girls and young women would line up on their route to receive lashes from these whips. This was supposed to ensure fertility, prevent sterility in women and ease the pains of childbirth. This practice eventually ended when Christianity took over Roman Empire.
$1 review on Valentine’s Day
Hell knows back when,… somewhere sometime ago there was a conspiracy and it was lead by several parties. They were international giant candy companies, florist and greeting card companies. In order to earn large amount of money just for a day to cover up all their losses thru out the whole year they came up with ingenious ideas for loving suckers out there who have no clue why they are doing and celebrating this stupid day. Most people are doing it just because it’s a trend not knowing of the throat cutting conspiracies. SUCKERS!!! Valentine’s day is just another stupid celebration made up by the Caucasians to hook in more profits, another stupid celebration would be Halloween Day. I admit that I am not the romantic Casanova Romeo type, but I don’t see the necessity of splurging on Feb 14th yearly. To me I believe that if you love your partner, spouse, secret lover, concubine, mistress…etc so much every 14th of the month can be a Valentine’s Day. Moreover if you’re filthy rich and don’t know where to spend your money make everyday a Valentine’s Day. I left for work early today and there was very heavy traffic and jam on my way to work. Its unusual, unless theres a slight flood or heavy rain. Could it be a coincidence?? Feb 14th jam because idiots are rushing to meet up in town? Best of all I couldn’t get a decent parking when I went food hunting near my office. I was surprised to find Secret Recipe full house with quite a number of couples, HAHAHAHA serve them right for not making proper plans and reservations else where or they’re just elcheapo.
The Classic Valentine’s Gifts.
1) Flowers. Why flowers? Because it signifies beauty. Usually red roses, chinese are superstitious with white flowers because they use white flowers for funerals. Some culture white represents purity.
2) Candies/chocolates. It means that she is sweet.
3) Jewelries tells her that she is precious.
4) Lingerie means she’s sexy
5) Greeting cards, cheap but thoughtful.
Valentine don’t aren’t cheap either dining, gifts & flowers are priced sky high just for this occasion. Most restaurants will have a special menu for occasion like this and knowing its Valentine’s they sharpen their knives to cut throat. They usually remove the ala carte menus on special occasions and prepare a few standard full course set meals with lotsa bullshit fancy names. The reason they do that is because they can earn more and less work in the kitchen knowing that the place will be full house. Less preparation in the kitchen as the menus were preset and they charge more because they know couples would come in take their own sweet romantic time occupying the tables from other idiot who wanna dine out for the special occasion. So instead of serving 200 tables on a normal day they might only serve 100 tables on Valentine’s day. Another mistake my mate did was not making reservations WEEKS in advance or maybe even months in advance. No kidding, those who have celebrated before should know what am I talking about not that I ever did. Roses and flowers are 1000 times more expensive just on Feb 14th, on usual days a dozen bouquet only cost somewhere between MYR50 – MYR100. Valentine hikes it up to MYR200 – MYR400. Roses only cost 50cents a stalk from farm, you do the math. I heard a rumor that jewelries prices are also jacked up and then heavy discounts are given out in order to get customers. Great way to sell cheap cut stones for high price. Time to improvise with better and cheaper gifts for Valentine’s with my list.
Modern Valentine’s Gifts & Reasons.
1) Condoms. We all know after the fancy dinner and sweet talking theres gonna be wild love making tonite. So we don’t want STDs and unwanted babies
2) Yourself. Nothing is cheaper and more sexy than just tying a ribbon on yourself or on your crotch.
3) Chocolates. So that you can lick each other clean.
4) A Stool for sitting. Because you idiots didn’t make reservations a stool might be handy while waiting for a table.
5) Flowers, I strong don’t agree buying this but it can signify a different meaning. The classic 1 white rose among the reds has been wrongly assumed all these years as “You’re the 1 and Only”. Time for a change, but only buy this if she’s a virgin. Signifies that the white purity is gonna get bloody tonite. MUAHAHAHAHH!!!
6) Pregnancy test kit. I’m sure it will come in handy one fine day.
7) Electronic massaging chair. Its to save your energy to get her into the mood. Good relaxing tool after a hardcore night.
8) Sewing Kit. Helps him to patch up his huge hole in his wallet and pocket after spending too much money.
9) Holiday package or a night stay in the hotel. Lame excuse for being romantic, its more of privacy issue. Some people have kids at home, some hate to cleaning up mess, some cheating on their partner with someone else.
Anyway this post is indeed getting long, too long actually. I’d rather celebrate World AIDS Day knowing that I am doing something to make this world a better place. I’m not cheap!! Its just not practical to spend so much money on a silly occasion like this, why not donate those money to charity or invest them else where? Valentine’s is no biggie, hope you guys had a great fuck. Adios
4) A Stool for sitting. Because you idiots didn’t make reservations a stool might be handy while waiting for a table.
5) Flowers, I strong don’t agree buying this but it can signify a different meaning. The classic 1 white rose among the reds has been wrongly assumed all these years as “You’re the 1 and Only”. Time for a change, but only buy this if she’s a virgin. Signifies that the white purity is gonna get bloody tonite. MUAHAHAHAHH!!!
6) Pregnancy test kit. I’m sure it will come in handy one fine day.
7) Electronic massaging chair. Its to save your energy to get her into the mood. Good relaxing tool after a hardcore night.
8) Sewing Kit. Helps him to patch up his huge hole in his wallet and pocket after spending too much money.
9) Holiday package or a night stay in the hotel. Lame excuse for being romantic, its more of privacy issue. Some people have kids at home, some hate to cleaning up mess, some cheating on their partner with someone else.
Anyway this post is indeed getting long, too long actually. I’d rather celebrate World AIDS Day knowing that I am doing something to make this world a better place. I’m not cheap!! Its just not practical to spend so much money on a silly occasion like this, why not donate those money to charity or invest them else where? Valentine’s is no biggie, hope you guys had a great fuck. Adios
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